My Book Idea That Will Never Be...

Back in this post, I spoke about an abandoned project of mine. I discarded it for a few reasons. As I said in the other post: Not only did it seem insurmountable to obtain the right to do it, but I also knew how much work it would be. And if it couldn’t go beyond my desk and the few people who I’d torture with it, why bother?

But I also half-promised to show you what I did produce to ponder while I am in London.
I want to make it clear that I am in no way suggesting that this piece is worth any salt. It's merely the first draft of whimsical idea. I wanted to answer all the inherent questions which arise about the Dr. Seuss's Cat in the Hat. It would incorporate all manifestations of the Cat (books/sketches and cartoons) as written/"sanctioned" by Seuss to support its claims. As the piece states, it's meant simply in fun.

Thus, I present the never-more-to-be-written

The Definitive Cat in the Hat

Foreword

It is a well known fact that children of all ages and from many countries of the world love to visit the wonderfully wacky and whimsical world of Theodore Geisel, otherwise known as Dr. Seuss. It is also just as common knowledge that Dr. Seuss's works incorporate more than silly characters who find themselves in equally silly if not abusrd situations and antics. By this I mean it is evident Seuss's world comes with its own set of life lessons, meaning and morals applicable to our own. Even more astonishing is his ability to present not just one but usually three, if not more, such messages in any one given tale. And let us not forget the good doctor does so entirely in rhyme. In my opinion, his uncanny talents are best exemplified in the story of the Sneetches on the beaches. I won't go so far as to delineate the details of the narrative or even cite specific examples within the text. I leave these tasks to the reader. After all, the following "hidden messages" are not so arcane that even the supposed audience of children cannot uncover them. Instead I will point out these obvious observations. The Star-Bellied Sneetches story speaks out against racism, the pitfalls of fashions and trends and also displays the principles if not the foibles of Capitalism. Thus, it is well established that Dr. Seuss is a multi-talented artist whose words and illustrations can be explored on many levels, able to entertain a child as well as enlighten an adult. Who knows to what end deep mysteries can be extracted? A Who? Who indeed?

But who is more wrought with secret logic than Seuss's best loved creation The Cat in the Hat? The familiar feline brings nothing but semi-informational teasers of his being. Who is this large cat with a candy stripe stove pipe hat? What is the secret to his magical mayhem? Why does he barge in uninvited? How can he be so wise and yet so seemingly immature? When did he become skilled in his fields of expertise? Where did he receive his training? I feel that the answers to all of these questions and as they say, a whole lot more can be ascertained by careful inspection of the clues the good doctor provides. In order to obtain the most accurate impressions, all manifestations of his favored feline must be incorporated. By this I mean we must examine in depth every book and animated feature sanctioned by Seuss in which the infamous cat appears. It stands to reason that a well developed history and doctrine of The Cat in the Hat can be both inferred and implied by the cryptic clue-ridden rhymes of the master. Finally we will have the answers to the secrects of the fabled moss-covered, three-handled family gredunza!

I wish to clearly state that I am in no way suggesting that Theodore Geisel or even Dr. Seuss intended these interpretations. I do not claim the insights contained here within to be correct, inclusive of or even in accordance with his perceptions. Instead I offer a hypothetical and creative alternative to some of the most haunting and nagging queries of the Cat's true nature, philosophy and past. Yet, at the same time, a sincere effort has been made to remain true to and preserve what Seuss presented.

I. Cat as an Archetypal Figure
II. Cat's Family & Upbringing
III. Cat's Schooling/Education
IV. Cat's Philosophy of Life
V. Cat's Extent/Range of Magical Powers
VI. Cat's "Wardrobe" and Place of Dwelling
VII. Cat in Relation to Other Seussians
VIII. Cat in Relation to Psychedelics
IX. Cat's Inherent Mysteries (i.e. The White Belly?)
X. The Enigma of "Little Cats" and "Young Cat"
XI. Cat's Vehicles
XII. Cat's Possessions
XIII. Cat's Teachings
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For those of you wondering, yes, Dr. Seuss does in fact show us such things as where the Cat lives. In fact, we see most of his house (and he opens his closet) in the animated The Grinch Grinches the Cat in the Hat.

The Cat's ideas/doctrines are also not just invented by me. For instance, although quirky and seemingly obvious, the practice of "Calculatus Eliminatus" actually does work... I've tested it on many occasions. Its simplicity is deceiving...

Even if the concept might have been a blunder,
I hope I've instilled in you a new sense of wonder...