Clocking Back in to Time Bandits

A short while back, after I complained of there being a remake of Time Bandits, my regular circle of friends here in Chicago gathered to watch it.  Needless to say, they enjoyed it very much.
 

But something occurred to me upon this viewing.  I still don’t think there should be a remake... but a sequel!

If you know the film, hear me out.  There are spoilers ahead, so if you haven’t seen Time Bandits, you might want to stop reading now.

At the end of the movie, despite the typical blur of fantasy and reality prevalent in Gilliam flicks, we do know that Kevin has his Polaroid pictures from his adventure.  And one of those depicts the Map.  We also know that it IS possible to read/use the Map even on this small scale.  As well as the fact that Kevin gleans how to read/use it, too.  For it’s precisely his examining of the photo that causes them to find the “Biggest Hole in the Universe” and allows them to attack the Evil Genius.

Right.  We also know that Kevin is rather, shall we say, disgruntled with the Supreme Being for his blasé attitude toward the “unnecessary” killing of so many people just to test out “evil.”  Isn’t that, too, well, evil?  From a certain point of view yes but then again maybe not from a larger-scope view such as a god-like character’s perspective.  Not to mention that Kevin’s parents are now destroyed in a puff by a raw chunk of evil left over from (shall we say) their negligence (Kevin & the Supreme Being included)?

If you ask me, Kevin is ripe for revenge.  It makes sense that the Supreme Being testing “evil” would result in Kevin being infected by it, burning with animosity toward the “uncaring” god-figure.  Also, he’s got the Map.  Thus he has access to all of the time holes in the universe.  (He probably even had the Map enlarged!)  He knows the how and the WHEN of gathering tools to attempt a showdown with the Supreme Being... and maybe even against Randall and his other friends who abandoned him at the last moment.  What exactly his vengeance entails remains to be seen... and we’d of course use Time to our advantage in that Kevin would be 20 years older now...  that’s a long time to plan an elaborate & sweet settling of scores!  Doesn’t it seem like it would make a good story?

And there you have it.

I don’t want a REMAKE of Time Bandits...
I want the sequel! 

Hollywood is Bad Bandit!

I can't believe I "have to" complain about a remake again.  This one's "idea"  leaves me even more embittered.  They’re remaking the fantastic (both in the senses of story content and quality) Terry Gilliam classic

Time Bandits

Really?

This poor man can’t ever catch a break on getting a NEW film made (he always runs into some sort of snag, there's more about that in one of the posts somewhere here) and now they’re going to re-do one of his best?

What’s more, they’re going to make it more “kid-accessible.” Um, suuuure. I had always considered it a kid movie anyway. Do they really think it’s too intense for younger viewers? I had been 10 when it came out. And yes, I saw it in the theater. And yes, I loved it then (and now [yes, I have seen it recently.]) To say it needs to be more kid-friendly is an insult to Gilliam, storytelling and children.

Unlike some other 80’s F/X, I don’t think this movie needs any help. It even holds up today.

Oh, Hollywood. SO many books and plays and original ideas out there and you still insist on destroying the integrity of a classic.

If only the Evil Genius could point a finger at them.

And does ANYONE want THE MAP to be REMADE?

*SIGH*

Incidentally, I’ve learned that Banky, Clara, Buttercup and Josiecat haven’t seen Time Bandits. Clara quote :
Time traveling midgets!?!?? I’m IN.

Correction:  Buttercup has seen it.  I showed it to her when we had our Gilliam kick.